There was no Thursday post, because I was on the road…which officially means I suck. And Monday is late. But we’ll try to get back on schedule this week…even if we’re stealing material.
A friend of mine, r. wrote this a while ago. I’ve always liked it, and I asked for, and received permission to quote it here.
“I think the thing I like most about having a Dom is having something of my own that is special to me. I never feel selfish with him, because I just do what he asks, and I never have to worry that I ought to be doing something else or much different. If he wants me to do something else it is his job to tell me, I don’t have to guess. He’s this one little place in my life where it’s quiet and it’s all just for me. I deserve that dammit. Every other lover I have is someone I have to be responsible to, someone who expects something undefined out of me. I always have to try to do better for them.
My Dom gives me love and support conditionally. I know we’re supposed to all want unconditional love, but I am not sure I can accept unconditional love, and I’m not sure I want what goes with it, that I should be available unconditionally in return. I can’t give that much of myself to somebody else right now. I know I am supposed to be romantic and want a man to be nice to me. But what I really want is a man who will actually take control of me.
But my Dom is always there for me in the ways he said he’d be. He has said he would be in control and he is. He’s reliable, he’s a rock, an anchor.
I submit to him and take what he gives me whether it’s good or bad. He always balances it, though it may not feel like it at the time. Maybe I’m just lucky and have a good Dom. But that relationship is all about me. And I have decided I deserve it. I deserve one place in my life where I’m special.
He’s a friend too. There are things that you can trust your Dom to ask him and to help you that you can’t ask anybody else. Because if you asked anybody else you’d owe them. But it’s okay to ask him.”
I can’t add much to that other than that it profoundly clarified a lot of things about the BDSM dynamic in my mind, and I’ve held onto it since I read it. There are little gems that float along and influence you and this is one of them.
I think it’s sobering thought to think that we ought to be worthy of that.
Ecological Fact: Post’s “Grape Nuts” cereal, first released in 1897 is comprised entirely of whole grain wheat flour, wheat flour, malted barley flour, salt, and dried yeast. It contains neither grapes nor human testicles.