BDSM

Issues with Transparency

The term “Transparency” has a long history. It initially comes not from strict BDSM, but from the open relationship between Jean-Paul Satre and Simone de Beauvoir, the author of the 1949 work The Second Sex. In 1929 the two made a pact that was the basis for a decades long relationship…they would pursue other relationships […]

The Selfish Dominant

I often feel that if you can’t admit the selfishness of being a Dominant, if you can understand your obligation to give back. If you delude yourself that every part of what you do is about “helping the girl” then I wonder if you can think seriously about whether or not you are really fulfilling […]

New York BDSM club near strangling…..

First some Newspaper articles. Thanks to a friend in Philadelphis for putting these into circulation. First Article Second Article Third Article Okay first the facts. For folks who don’t want to jump links, there are precious few. Richard Benjamin is a 67 year old retired college professor from Montreal. For years he’s been sneaking down […]

Poly, BDSM and FedEx

So the Post carried an article on Poly couples yesterday. For those of you just joining this channel, that’s a generic term for “people who fuck around like I do.” Apparently based on some local convention. I don’t know that you deeply need to go read it. The article is just about exactly what you’d […]

Ask me your questions bridgekeeper, I am not afraid…

A very common element in negotiations in BDSM is the Questionnaire. I’ve worked for a good number of years to develop a really good questionnaire, and I’ve focused on a few features that I think are interesting enough to mention. There is nothing original about it of course. It is drawn from dozens of previous […]

The Paddle that Would not Come Together

Some rather lame ramblings a day late. I have a very nice toybag. I really do. Now I have seen guys with maybe $4000 worth of wood and leather hanging from multiple racks, whose toybag looked like a small retail outlet for fetish goods. It is nothing like that. But I have at least one […]

Reasons Why I am Doing This….

There are some reasons I opened this blog and some things that are not reasons, and I think that it is only fair that I share them with you. I am not really here to sell myself as a Dominant. If I was, I’d publish this Blog a lot wider. I’m here to talk to […]

Fucked-Up Scenes

One of the things that has fascinated me in the past few years is failed scenes. Because I think we are all terrified of failed scenes. Terrified of being left with a hopelessly fucked up crying girl who we have broken and cannot be put back together. And we are right to fear that. I’ve […]

Something Special of my Own

There was no Thursday post, because I was on the road…which officially means I suck. And Monday is late. But we’ll try to get back on schedule this week…even if we’re stealing material. A friend of mine, r. wrote this a while ago. I’ve always liked it, and I asked for, and received permission to […]

The little Crop

Sticking to Monday and Thursday so far…the next week is busy as hell, but we’ll have a little something out on Thursday… I have a new favorite toy. It was a Seasonal gift, in that I picked it out on a shopping trip to Tractor Supply Company I am guessing that most of the people […]