BDSM

Existentialism and Emotional Misery

 Occasionally one of my friends writes something that I find truly interesting or outstanding.  This is a short essay written by a friend of mine and posted with her permission which I found provocative and interesting, particularly in the discussion of “hidden keys.”  I think the essay speaks for itself, so I’ll provide no further […]

What is Power Exchange, and "twoo" slavery….

This started out as a response to a question on Fetlife, but it’s also my most compact, succinct and concise writing on the subject of modern power exchange to date, and I liked it enough I thought I’d repost it…

The Thorny Issues of Consent

This was originally written as a continuation of the discussion of consent, however I think it stands alone as a basic outline of the issues with consent within our community. In many ways, I think you can boil the core issue in consent in BDSM down to the Foo Fighters. “The only thing I’ll ever […]

Consent and Non-Consent in Power Exchange

If you find this post interesting, please consider commenting where it appears on the Consent Counts Group on Fetlife   A few days ago, the NCSF dropped me an e-mail…which I assume went out to every other person on the NCSF mailing list, about starting a national dialog on consent, here on Fetlife and in […]

Dialog on Consent – NCSF Appeal

I received the following from NCSF and I wanted to both boost the signal and mention how important this is to our community…particularly the discussion about consent listed below.I believe in consent and I’m on record writing about the importance not only of titular consent but informed consent which comes from a full understanding of […]

Everything you ever wanted to know about the care and feeding of leeches

…No, really, I’m serious… Some of you may remember our leech special issue. Well a few months have gone by and the leeches needed to eat again. I googled around online and found virtually nothing really authoritative about feeding leeches…one suggestion said to put them on a blood soaked towel…that didn’t go well. Another suggestion […]

W.C. Fields was right…(leeches)

I’ve always looked a little askance at Field’s wisdom. Through most of his life he took little digs at the boredom of Philadelphia…the most famous being his proposed epitaph from a 1925 Vanity Fair. “Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.” Philly has been a fairly consistently charming city for […]

Advocacy for M/s and other Fetish Issues…

In a group I follow on FetLife, the question came up of displays of M/s in public and whether or not that was appropriate. I wanted to share my personal feelings, and expand that into the larger sphere of public advocacy. The first thing I want to say is that I think that effective advocacy […]

Self-Sabotage and Passive Aggression in Relationships…

I recently posted in a group about self-sabotage in M/s relationships.  Situations where a slave acts out passive aggressively, or in ways that destroy the benefits of the power exchange.  I came up with a number of core reasons that lie behind destructive self-sabotaging or passive aggressive behavior in relationships, and I thought I’d enlarge […]

General Drill Order for Submissives

There is no shortage of literature in the world about BDSM at this point. There never really has been, even in the many years before Anne Desclos/Pauline Reage made it beautiful and established that there could be a feminine voice and the existence of a feminine need and urge, and Paulhan made it intellectual and […]